Don't Harsh My Mellow Tee, Beach Graphic T-Shirt, Surfer shirt, Stoner t-shirt

This tee is not clothing. It is a public service announcement for anyone who dares approach you while you are operating at 3% brain capacity and 97% sunshine.

The front left chest has a tiny SALTLANTIC™ logo — a polite little “hello” from a brand that knows you’re one loud noise away from dissolving into a fine mist.

But the back? The back is a full‑scale emotional barricade. A massive “DON’T HARSH MY MELLOW” detonates across your spine like a mellow‑protection spell cast by a beach wizard who hasn’t slept since the Reagan administration.

Wearing this tee transforms you into a creature powered entirely by:

lukewarm ocean water

faint breezes

and the distant sound of someone dropping a surfboard

Your mellow becomes so fragile that if someone even THINKS about asking you to do something productive, your soul will eject from your body like a startled hermit crab.

This tee is ideal for:

People who require a 12‑foot radius of emotional quiet

Individuals who have achieved “sentient sea cucumber” levels of calm

Anyone who has ever whispered “please don’t ruin this for me” to a cloud

Folks who treat mellow like a federally protected habitat

The back graphic doesn’t just send a message — it threatens the universe with consequences. It says, “If you disturb my peace, I will simply stop participating in reality.”

Possible side effects:

Becoming too relaxed to maintain bone structure

Forgetting your own name but remembering the tide schedule

Spontaneous horizontalness

Attracting dolphins for no reason